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I never promised a rose garden

Overheard something on the tube? Email me here.

You can now follow me on Twitter, if you really have that much spare time on your hands. And you can be my 'fan' on Facebook too. Lucky old you!

You can buy copies of my book, A Year in the Life of TheManWhoFellAsleep, through the excellent Big Green Bookshop in Wood Green. Either visit them in person, email them or phone them up. You can even use Paypal.

Buy it now. The first 70 pages. Totally free to read or download.


I am a passenger

 

 

 

 


Back in the days before blogs, facebook and twitter, there was something called the internet. And if you wanted to do something on the internet, you had to learn some HTML and other handy skills. And for 3-4 years, very bored, I did lots of inane, silly, pointless pages - which are collected below in a handy grid format. I haven't looked at lots of these pages for many years, and it's entirely possible that they don't reflect well on a 34-year-old man. I'm probably embarrassed by some of them.
Still, I hope they bring you pleasure.

A page about sleep. PARANOIA! A story about genetics. Angels. Enter the black hole. Trains are bad. A man in a bottle. Sexy tinned goods. My life as a fishcake. The mystery of the floating lawyer. The professor and the lies about the moon. I have seen the light. My death is your death. Chess. An old soldier reminisces about the gender wars.
A series of untrue facts. Quincy, the movie. Popular animals The weather Things are not what they seem. A two part-page. Snooker The shopping channel. The bible and other noises. Animals are not nice. Love love love. The editor speaks. A stream of shit. The figurative fugitive. A super Dutch boy A gambling God.
Charles Atlas speaks! Korky the Communist cat. Some thoughts about ROCK. Undercover deer magazine. A period drama. Me! dancing! With music! The anti-sleep league. Old tshirts. The Treeman. Biscuits. Science. It's not art. A free prize draw! A story from HELL Catskills poetry. Flight.
Lellevision, Hate? Art? The Satellite of Love Love with appliances. Michael Caine or Sylvester Stallone? A story about spiders. Musical cutlery. A guide to writing. An Agatha Christie mystery. The dictionary of lies. Battling top trump otters Stud! The magazine for men! A new personality test Football matches reviewed by famous writers. A hedgehog. And me.
Alcoholics anonymous and Hitler. You must remember this; a kiss is still a kiss. Bertie the box More unlife. The tale of Kimmy Koala STOP WRITING ME EMAILS ABOUT ELVES. A dream I once had. Ask Dr Dre. Why? God? Why? An old-fashioned interactivity exercise/ A comic strip about Philip Larkin. The Pyramid of Doom The story of Daniel, a boy with a big head Early versions of myself. Plug love.
A gallery of rubbish. My life in film. A smoking detective. Yahtzee! Stumbling through phone boxes, looking for footballers. Buses. A short story set in a car park. Falling houses. A Martin Heidegger you can cut out and keep. A slow advert. Corridors A story Raymond Chandler. Dark clouds... fatherhood. An animation about boredom. Fidel Castro speaks.
A fan page for Dane Bowers. Random cuts of bad meat. Nostradamus. The dog in syrup. An interview with a fool. A population explosion. Birthdays cards. Metropolitan. Not Cosmo. A depressing story. Chick Lit for discerning readers. The periodic table horoscope. A sad story about time travel. 2001: A Washing Machine. Memories of Jacob Sminkle. My London, by Cornelius Grubb.
An ordinary man speaks out. Celebrity interviews in newsagents. All lies. Heat. Judy Blume's latest novel. An interview with Oscar the Grouch. It's up to you. The unlife. Perhaps the greatest page of all time. Soboko! Some albums that were never made. A World Without France. Rolling things. Mark Lawrensen's Premiership Predictions. A box of wonders. Facts about Polar Bears. Interactivity corner.
Death of a King. An office tragedy. Psychoanalysis. Penguin animation. Maths. Me. An ad for Penis Envy products. A woman's tale. The marketplace. The Angry Potato. A Charlton fan. Bono speaks! Holiday snaps. Jazz! ! ! Puzzles and wordsearches. An education. Not for mac users.
A trip through the human body. Does advertising work? Charlie Cobain. Pacman is jewish. I am judging you. Celebrities endorse the page. The famous sad jokes. The unsightly history of the beardman symbol. Welcome. A customer complaint animation. Teri Garr. Evil? Relationships, eh? A brief anecdote or two. Derrida. Jacques. Nietsczhe. Or however you spell it.
Sartre. A juvenile strip. An ice cream van in space. An animation. Schroedegingers cat The history of the universe. Waiting for Godot. Shoeses. My intimate portraits of celebrities at play.              


Links to click on when you are finished here

My dad's website. He is an artist in Argentina. The site is in Spanish and English. I made it for him, but don't let that put you off.Biographies of characters in the Bill. Has a lovely page about Tosh Lines.A beautiful website.Free public domain films for you to download.Normblog. A very clever man. Everything to do with Naruto. The Cannon challenge.Horror top trumps. A slice of my childhood.

Vintage pics of north London. Lovely.An archive of vintage comic coversA geography quiz. Surprisingly good. An excellent retro graphics site. A funny but depressing look at what the Great British Public has to say. Vintage postcards sorted by topic.The Copyranter. An amusing blog about writing and advertising. Photos of tv. Quite funny.

Vintage covers of old books, magazines and comics.The Spurs website. Read it and weep.Comprehensive scans of comic covers.An excellent web comic.A cartoonist with some nice ideas. Local bands for local people.Loads of manga stuff.Amusing blog of photoshop mishaps.

My old poetryLoads of old ZX Spectrum games remade for PCs. Lovely.An annoyingly good site.A good blog/linky thing, full of news, ideas and porn. Actress, writer, comedienne. You can email her your favourite dream compilation CD.Genius. A Soviet poster a day. Lots of old newreel footage, free to download.

Cheesecake pics. Yum.X-Rated! An amazing gallery of 70s porn posters.A website.A novel. Some fantastic photos. A fantastic range of movie posters for you to download.Emiel Stopler. Writer and musician. And nice Dutch person. The Londonist.

A really wonderful site selling clever, original badges CHEAP.Three American girls who know their football. Six Line Reviews.Some excellent Tshirts.Threadless. Excellent, cheap Tshirts made by the public of the internet. Fantastic old bubblegum cards.Neave. Very creative.2000AD info. For nostalgia, mainly.

Covers of the War of the WorldsAnnoying but compulsive football game.An excellent site about dead people. A good site. I like the drawings a lot. The award-winning London Underground blog.Inexplicable objects.An excellent website for artists. The blog of an excellent bookshop in Wood Green.

Football clips from around the world.A good gallery in London. Go there. Litro. Free fiction for the London Underground. A fantastic pool game. You need to register. Poetry selected by the London Underground. One Man and his Phone. Chin's amazing blog of travel. Stick cricketUnderground history. Some lovely stuff.

© All content copyright Greg Stekelman. Please do not mortgage your emotional future on this website.